Movie Star and certified Nice Boy “Jurassic World” star Chris Pratt recently pre-apologized for any offense he might cause on the upcoming and extensive press tour for that movie. All too often, trying to get a laugh, stars drop an oopsie and say something they didn’t mean to come off wrong. Pratt, via a Facebook status, predicted that he would do the same.
“I want to make a heartfelt apology for whatever it is I end up accidentally saying during the forthcoming #JurassicWorld press tour,” his pre-apology read in part. “I hope you understand it was never my intention to offend anyone and I am truly sorry. I swear. I’m the nicest guy in the world. And I fully regret what I (accidentally will have) said in (the upcoming foreign and domestic) interview(s). I am not in the business of making excuses. I am just dumb. Plain and simple. I try. I REALLY try!”
While we doubt that Pratt is actually dumb, he has said a few things with a whiff of dumbinosity — but a boatload of charm — over the years.
Perhaps Retta, talking about Pratt’s “Parks and Recreation” character Andy Dwyer, put it best: “Oh, Andy, you’re fine, but you’re simple.”
Ahead, 11 adora-dumb things that Chris Pratt has said — in character and out– that we don’t even need him to apologize for.
1. “I’m allergic to sushi, every time I eat more than 80 sushi I barf.”
2. “Probably something i saw as a kid simply for the sentimentality of it all. So Like Goonies or Bloodsport or something like that. Or maybe Rambo First Blood or the last Rambo where he outruns that dog, that s–t was f–king crazy, or maybe City of God because that movie is awesome or Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon or Across the Universe because I love the Beatles so much, or Country Strong, because just kidding, but that movie is actually really good but not my favorite of all time. Maybe the Neverending Story although I’m sure it doesn’t hold up but I’ll never know cause i’ll never watch it again cause i hate when movies that i loved as a kid don’t hold up for instance tango and cash just terrible.”
3. “Penis!”
4. “I like to do ’Garfield Mondays’: lasagna and napping in a box.”
5. “I think any man over 250 pounds rollerblading is instant hilarity. There’s nothing funnier than a giant, grown man rollerblading.”
6. “Oh no. You’re probably gonna get fat and then skinny.”
7. “Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems.”
8. “I was drinking Patron. But then Hornitos, bad call. I’m holding up well. I’m on a juice fast thing so the tequila juice fit right in! haha! actually doing surprisingly well. I must be a pro!”
9. “Some poops are unremarkable, and some you take pictures of and send them to Nick Offerman.”
10. “You can pour melted ice cream on regular ice cream. It’s like a sauce!”
11. “I married way out of my pay grade. I have no idea how that happened. She’s so goddamn funny and so good. She is a legit comedy powerhouse. But I’m not going to question it too much. I don’t know what it is, man. I guess chicks dig love handles or something.”
